Returning to blogging, my absence has been conspicuous, I am sure, only to myself. But for the two others of you that read this blog, thanks for your patience.
What brings me back is a desire to kickstart myself from a position of immobility. My job is now at an official dead end, and there is no longer enough lipstick in the world to put on this pig.
So, I’m back to the job search, which brings on all that illusory stuff like self-pity, fear, regret, apprehension, and helplessness. Funny how the job, and the job hunt, can both be equally demoralizing.
Telecommuting does not work for me. I am isolated and alone. I don’t have the technology infrastructure to accomplish what I need to accomplish (that is, the internet is a lot slower than the on campus network), and the promised “flexibility” translates into never being unplugged from the cell phone, email, or the couch.
So, once again, I ask myself: Can I hang in there long enough to adopt a baby? That means another 6 months, at least. Can I? It’s going to be a long 6 months for sure. Time sure flies when you’re utterly, irretrievably miserable.
So, let me add a few comments of my own to my blog to precede all the spam about erectile dysfunction and pyramid schemes (note to self: pyramid scheme for erectile dysfunction may be do-able):
Comments:
Woman Hating Pig
You sound like my good-for-nothing wife when she gets her period. Snap out of it, and make your poor slob of a husband dinner for once in your life. If you can’t have a sense of humor about misery, at least you can learn to cook!
Self-Hating Woman
I so identify with you. I mean, I was just thinking about what the meaning is of any of the crap I do. You definitely clarified things for me. I’m going to commit suicide now.
Current Boss
So, you’re that miserable, huh? Good. Because we were going to fire you anyway!
Husband
Honey, don’t worry, everything will be okay. I know you hate your job, but we can work through it. By the way, did you find my keys?
God
If you are too busy to get on your knees and pray for some help, don’t blame me. I didn’t apply for this job. I inherited the business. Before you go feeling sorry for yourself, walk a mile in my shoes. It ain’t pretty. Snap out of it. Life sucks. Haven’t you figured that out yet? Don’t tell Maryann Williamson! I get such a kick out of her — I think she actually believes that stuff. What a world!
